


space jam

by shouyox



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Asexual Pidge | Katie Holt, Biphobia, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Cuban Lance (Voltron), DONE W DARK TAGS, Established Matt Holt/Shiro, F/F, F/M, Gay Keith (Voltron), Group chat, Human Coran (Voltron), Hunk (Voltron) is so Pure, IM, Inappropriate Humor, Keith and Shiro are Adoptive Siblings, Kinks, Korean Keith (Voltron), Lance (Voltron) Has Anxiety, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, Memes, OMG I FORGOT, OMG I FORGOT ABT CORAN, Oh yea, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Drug Use, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Pining Keith (Voltron), Polyamory, Socially Awkward Keith (Voltron), Space Dad Shiro (Voltron), Space Uncle Coran (Voltron), accidental dick pics, ahahah, angst prolly, but lets not get into that YET, clueless Lance, demisexual Matt, except not space, getting to the dark tags dont mind, i pwomise, im so sorry, it takes me years but we will get to allura joining hunk and shay soon, keith has a hair pulling kink, knowing me ill write smut, lance gets a tongue piercing in ch.3, lance has a praise kink, lance is bipolar, matt has a daddy kink, ok, okokok, omg, past lance/lotor, prolly sexting, sunshine baby hunk, well not rlly past
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-01-05 12:11:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 13,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12189765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shouyox/pseuds/shouyox
Summary: blueboy: honestly i bet matt has a daddy kinknatt: lmao wait whatemobaby: IVE HEARD ITkillmenow: KEITH NOa simple group chat fic with a few dark stories





	1. I kinda taped keith to the wall

**Author's Note:**

> hi this fic is a MESS!! :) also enjoy my lil bits of angst through out the series lmao, gotta start strong my dudes
> 
> ((oh yeah some shit will prolly be ooc because im shit at characters))

_**restinpidge has added killmenow, natt, emobaby, blueboy, 2hunkyforu, theofficialgayprincess** _

 

_**restinpidge has named the chat for forks sake** _

 

_killmenow: oh fuck_

 

_restinpidge: :)_

 

_emobaby: who the fuck are these people_

 

_blueboy: owo whats this_

_theofficialgayprincess: Rawr x3 nuzzles how are you pounces on you you're so warm o3o notices you have a bulge o: someone's happy ;) nuzzles your necky wecky~ murr~ hehehe rubbies your bulgy wolgy you're so big :oooo rubbies more on your bulgy wolgy it doesn't stop growing ·///· kisses you and lickies your necky daddy likies (; nuzzles wuzzles I hope daddy really likes $: wiggles butt and squirms I want to see your big daddy meat~ wiggles butt I have a little itch o3o wags tail can you please get my itch~ puts paws on your chest nyea~ its a seven inch itch rubs your chest can you help me pwease squirms pwetty pwease sad face I need to be punished runs paws down your chest and bites lip like I need to be punished really good~ paws on your bulge as I lick my lips I'm getting thirsty. I can go for some milk unbuttons your pants as my eyes glow you smell so musky :v licks shaft mmmm~ so musky drools all over your cock your daddy meat I like fondles Mr. Fuzzy Balls hehe puts snout on balls and inhales deeply oh god im so hard~ licks balls punish me daddy~ nyea~ squirms more and wiggles butt I love your musky goodness bites lip please punish me licks lips nyea~ suckles on your tip so good licks pre of your cock salty goodness~ eyes role back and goes balls deep mmmm~ moans and suckles_

 

_blueboy: IM CRYING_

 

_2hunkyforu: wait! introductions! name, pronouns, age!_

 

_blueboy: lance, he/him, 17_

 

_emobaby: keith, he/him, 18_

 

_blueboy: who the fyck names their kdi keith_

 

_emobaby: fuck off "lance"_

 

_killmenow: calm down children_

 

_restinpidge: dad comes to the rescue_

 

_killmenow: actually no i just need keith to come downstairs becasue i may or may have not fropped a pancake on the floor_

 

_emobaby: ffs_

 

_2hunkyforu: hunk, he/him, 17_

 

_restinpidge: pidge, she/them, 14_

 

_blueboy: our smol pidgey_

 

_restinpidge: fuck u im in the same grade as u and im passin all my classes, what did u get on that history test last week?_

 

_blueboy: Wot the fok did ye just say 2 me m8? i dropped out of newcastle primary skool im the sickest bloke ull ever meet & ive nicked ova 300 chocolate globbernaughts frum tha corner shop. im trained in street fitin’ & im the strongest foker in tha entire newcastle gym. yer nothin to me but a cheeky lil bellend w/ a fit mum & fakebling_

 

_theofficialgayprincess: i think me and lance would be soulmates if i wasnt gay_

 

_blueboy: why have i heard thta so many times_

 

_emobaby: LMAO_

 

_natt: hows the pancake_

 

_killmenow: dead_

 

_natt: sorry bby_

 

_killmenow: :((_

 

_2hunkyforu: introductions??_

 

_killmenow: oh ye im shiro, keith's odler brother, he/him, 25_

 

_blueboy: holy fuck ye old_

 

_theofficialgayprincess: im divorcing u lance_

 

_blueboy: bby y_

 

_theofficialgayprincess: allura, she/her, 28_

 

_blueboy: id still fuck u bby_

 

_theofficialgayprincess: i wouldnt <3_

 

_blueboy: </3_

_natt: im pudge's older brother lmaooo, matt, he/him, 20_

 

_restinpidge: i hate u_

 

_blueboy: PUDGE_

 

_restinpidge: fuck u ur sister calls u lancella_

 

_blueboy:_ ( ︶︿︶)_╭∩╮

 

_restinpidge: thats how big ur dick is m8_

 

_killmenow: HWY HAVE U SEEN HSI DICL_

 

_restinpidge: he asked me for opinions on his dick pics but then realized i was indeedy-o not a dude, and asexual lmao_

 

_2hunkyforu: god how many dick pics ive seen in my day because of him_

 

_blueboy: hunk :(_

 

_2hunkyforu:_ ♥(ˆ⌣ˆԅ)

 

_blueboy: ...♥_

 

_restinpidge: whipped_

 

_blueboy: fuck off_

 

_emobaby: lancella?_

 

_blueboy: i thought we've passed this_

 

**_restinpidge has added kaaaaaatiiaaa_ **

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: LANCELLA GO FUCKING DO THE DISHES_

 

_blueboy: FUCK YOU ITS NOT MY TURN_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: YES THE FUCK IT IS, ANTHONY DID THEM YESTERDAY_

 

_blueboy: NO HE DIDNT I DID_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: FUCKING LITTLE SHIT_

 

_emobaby: uh hi?_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: oh shit this is a gc_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: pidgeeee u binch u didnt tell me lance has friends_

 

_blueboy: katia i will bust down ur door_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: u'll wake tessa_

 

_blueboy: idgaf_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: but shes ur baBY SISTBFGDYF FGXCFGXCGIU NGSFXS_

 

_emobaby: what is happening_

 

_restinpidge: katia and lance are twins lmao_

 

_2hunkyforu: omg katia hi!!!_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: UFKC HES P[LASTHYNIG DIRRTY_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: WHO THE FUC JIRGID DI C  D HIS NAIL SDLX_

**_kaaaaaatiiaaa has left!_ **

 

_blueboy: aaa done!! :))_

 

_emobaby: did he jsut murder someone_

 

_blueboy: whatever do you mean? :))_

 

_killmenow: dont ask questions keith_

 

_natt: lmao i came back to a murder_

 

_theofficialgayprincess: lance, bby, are u ok?_

 

_blueboy: ofc bby <3_

 

_2hunkyforu: lance im coming to pick u up we'll go buy some lush products bby_

 

_blueboy: oki <3_

 

_natt: speaking of, shiro im omw to urs_

 

_killmenow: FUCK_

 

_natt: ..?_

 

_killmenow: i kinda taped keith to the wall_

 

_natt: oml._

 

 

** 4:09AM **

 

_blueboy: katia shut up dad'll hear u_

 

_emobaby: ???_

 

_blueboy: fuck wrong chat_

 

_restinpidge: lance why are u up??_

 

_blueboy: why are u??_

 

_restinpidge: touche._

 

_emobaby: ?!??!_

 

 

**8:06AM**

 

_2hunkyforu: lance where are u ???_

 

_blueboy: tessa needs a ride to school, ill be there soon ^^_

 

 

**10:57AM**

 

_2hunkyforu: lance??_

 

_restinpidge: ???_

 

 

**2:12PM**

 

_2hunkyforu: have any of u heard from lance?_

 

_theofficialgayprincess: no??_

 

_emobaby: no?_

 

_killmenow: nei_

 

_natt: nope_

 

_restinpidge: fuck_

 

_emobaby: ???_

 

_restinpidge: nothin_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. where in the world is lance mcclain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> restinpidge: fuck it, im bringing in the big guns.
> 
>  
> 
> restinpidge has added kaaaaaatiiaaa
> 
>  
> 
> kaaaaaatiiaaa: wassup binches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sozo if this is confusing im not very good at third person writing lol
> 
> thanks for all the kudos last chapter <3 it meant a lot babes <3 <3
> 
> I WROTE THIS ALL IN ONE DAY SO IF THERE ARE MISTAKES IM SORRY!!!

**4:43PM**

 

 

_2hunkyforu: SO NO ONE HAS HEARD FROM MY BEST FRIEND ALL DAY?!_

 

_restinpidge: hunk calm down_

 

_2hunkyforu: HOW CAN I "CALM" DOWN WHEN MY BEST FRIEND HAS BEEN AWOL ALL DAY_

 

_emobaby: hunk, his phone prolly just died, calm down._

 

_2hunkyforu: but he didn't show up for school, and he always shows up for school, he's had a perfect attendance!_

 

_emobaby: are we talking about the same lance?_

 

_restinpidge: hunk. im coming over, and ur gonna calm down._

 

_2hunkyforu: :/_

 

 

**8:31AM**

 

_2hunkyforu: HES NOT HERE!!! AGAIN!!!!_

 

_restinpidge: fuck it, im bringing in the big guns._

 

**_restinpidge has added kaaaaaatiiaaa_ **

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: wassup binches_

 

_2hunkyforu: KATIA!_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: HUNK!_

 

_2hunkyforu: HAVE YOU HEARD FROM LANCE??_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: ??? no he said he was staying at ur house_

 

_2hunkyforu: WHAT_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: yea last night at like 7 he texted me and said "hey kat, staying at hunks"_

 

_2hunkyforu: HE NEVER SHOWED UP FOR CLASS YESTERDAY OR TODAY THO_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: WHAT_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: shittttt_

 

_2hunkyforu: ???_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: ok hunk we're skipping the rest of the day_

 

_2hunkyforu: HWAT_

 

_killmenow: UM AS THE FATHER OF THIS GROUP CHAT I DO NOT APPROVE._

 

_emobaby: u literally fucking glued googly eyes on the door and put a piece of paper under them that says "im watching u, dont fuckin eat my tortillas, keith."_

 

_killmenow: WE SAID WE WOULDNT ALK ABOUT THAT KEITH._

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: hunk meet me @ the ugly tree outside the school_

 

_2hunkyforu: i feel like such a rebel._

 

_killmenow: I DO NOT A P P R O V E_

 

_natt: i think its too late babe_

 

_killmenow: FUCK_

 

* * *

 

 

Hunk walked slowly up to her, fiddling with his fingers, "W-where could he be, Katia? I'm really scared.."

 

Katia sighed and ran fingers through her short hair, it reached just about her shoulders. "Hunk, I don't think he's been taking his meds, and I think he might've-"

 

Hunk looked like he had just seen a ghost, he was shaking badly and tugging at his hair, "Hey, we'll find him, it's okay. We know he dropped off Tessa right? He was okay enough to take a four year old to school, so he must've just had an episode afterwards. He's okay, I know it."

 

Hunk nodded slowly, and taking his fingers out of his hair, looking down, "Where could he be though? Maybe he crashed the car? He's vulnerable right now, what if someone tries and takes advantage of him?"

 

"The car crash would've been seen by at least someone so we would be notified already. Also, Lance is smart enough to realize when that's happening, episode occurring or not, he doesn't let anyone do that stuff anymore."

 

Katia starts walking, signalling the conversation was over. Hunk followed silently, looking around every second hoping to see his best friend. 

 

* * *

 

 

**9:34AM**

 

_restinpidge: i still cant believe hunk actually is skipping right now tbh_

 

_emobaby: i hope lance is alright_

 

_restinpidge: god me too, he has my spanish answers_

 

_emobaby: pidge._

 

_restinpidge: sorry. im really nervous and jokes help me cope_

 

_emobaby: its ok, he'll show up, i may have only known the dude for less than 24hrs, but he doesnt seem like the type to just leave his friends_

 

_theofficialgayprincess: omg i've just read the messages, i hope lance is alright!!_

 

_restinpidge: hunk and katia are looking for him while i have stupid physics._

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: pidge ur 14._

 

_restinpidge: DID YOU FIND HIM_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: not yet, i just wanted to pop in and say we're near ur place because i thought maybe he'd go and show up there after whatever went down_

 

_restinpidge: he's not there is he?_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: no, sadly. we're gonna go and see if he's hiding out at the mall or smth_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: gtg hunk needs me_

 

_emobaby: why would he be at the mall?_

 

_restinpidge: he knows a worker at lush, and that store is like his second home_

 

_killmenow: keith im going to work, call me if they find him <3_

 

_emobaby: k_

 

 

* * *

 

 

Katia walked into the mall as calmly as she could, staring at the store that she knew held a special place in her brother's heart. Hunk stared too, crossing his fingers that the Cuban boy would be inside. The two walked to the store, stepping inside and getting overwhelmed by the sweet smells of the store. "Hello! How can we help you two today?" A worker by the name of Shay said, smiling sweetly at the two, before breaking into a frown at seeing their sad expressions.

 

"Um, hi. Have you seen a boy who looks like this? He may have been here yesterday or today.. We can't seem to get a hold of him and we know that one of the workers here knows him-"

 

"Lance! Oh yeah, I saw him yesterday, maybe around 4:30? He was acting really.. off? I don't know but he was kinda just wild. He was shirtless and trying to take his pants off, I had to rush him out of the store when my manager walked in. He ran away after that though and I haven't heard from him since."

 

Katia blinked and looked at Hunk sadly. _If he was acting like that he must be feeling depressed right about now. God, where is he.._

 

Hunk coughed and said, "He hasn't texted you or anything today? I'm sorry for being a pest but could you check? We're extremely worried you see and-"

 

"Of course! Let me go grab my phone from the back area, I'll be right back."

 

Hunk blushed and nodded, observing her oddly short hair. _It fits her._ He thought, looking back at Katia who was sending ten messages a second to her brother, most consisting of "Lance where are you", "We're super worried", "ANSWER YOUR PHONE"

 

Hunk laid a hand on the worried Cuban girl's shoulder, "Hey, deep breaths, okay? I know how your feeling but remember what you told me at the ugly tree? He's okay."

 

She smiled sadly back at him, hugging him and whispering, "God let my baby brother be alright"

 

Hunk laughed. "You came out a minute before him, doesn't really mean he's your 'baby' brother, Katia."

 

She scrunched her nose up and said, "Yes it does."

 

Hunk was going to reply but Shay had gotten back, phone in hand with a happy look on her face, "Hey! He texted me about an hour ago, I think it's wrong number though.. It says, 'katttt, fuck idk where i am tbh and just wanted to let u know ilysm and that my tongue hurts like a fuckin bitchhh, all i see is a mcdonalds sign. im scareded, pls find me soonn'"

 

Katia looks over her shoulder and then snaps to Hunk, "He's gonna get to the depression state soon, we need to find him. Where's the closest Mcdonalds?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall thoUGHT we was gonna find lance this chapter. lmaoooo ((one more chapters babs))
> 
> oh how i love foreshadowing :))
> 
> THANKS FOR READING!! :))
> 
> ((if i've gotten anything wrong about manic episodes PLEASE tell me. My brother is bipolar and I've only seen a manic episode from him once, i'm getting most of the information from the internet and a little inspiration from Even's manic episode on SKAM))


	3. naked and in a bush near mcdonalds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance chuckled and stuck his tongue out, and right in the middle of his tongue was a bright blue piercing. "Mama is going to fucking kill you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly ive had no motivation to write this lmao ((this aint edited lol i wrote it all today))
> 
> also the relationship shit i think will start next chapter?? like the pining ig.. idk how im gonna bring relationships into this shit fest either lmao
> 
> thanks for all the kudos on the previous chapters, it means a lot <33
> 
> FOR FORKS SAKE IS MAIN GC, SOZO IF I CONFUSED U W THE OTHER GC
> 
> name guide for the lance appreciation day gc;
> 
> pidgethebitch - pidge  
> letshirorest - shiro  
> mcrdiedsoidiedtoo - keith  
> whatthefuckisupkyle - matt  
> queenofhoneynutcheerios - allura  
> dothehunkashuffle - hunk
> 
> ((honestly didnt expect this pile of dung to get 400+ hits, thanks so much <333))

Hunk and Katia were scared more than anything. What if Lance was beat to pieces, lying bloody in the Mcdonalds parking lot? What if he was crying, needing someone to help him? there were so many 'what ifs' going through their minds when they finally arrived at the Mcdonalds. Katia declared that hunk will take the inside of the building-Katia promised herself she would _never_ step foot in a Mcdonalds-and she'd take the outside. 

 

Hunk rushed in quickly, taking in the whole dining area before moving to the bathrooms. He ran into the boys restroom, pushing stall doors open and waiting for people to come out, making sure none were Lance, and of course, none were.

 

Meanwhile Katia was running around outside, stopping at every bush, tree, everything. She needed to find her younger brother (by a minute of course) quickly. She almost gave up after five rounds of running around the building, but then, she heard a groan. The groan was loud, and frightening. She balled her hand into a fist, just in case it was a homeless man who got too handsy, and slowly walked up to the groaning bush. She swatted the bush away, only to be found with her naked brother who was holding his tongue in pain. "Where the fuck were you!?" She yelled, pulling him up to his feet, then screaming at the amount of blood on his hand, "Oh my god, are you okay?"

 

Lance chuckled and stuck his tongue out, and right in the middle of his tongue was a bright blue piercing. "Mama is going to fucking _kill_ you."

 

* * *

 

 

** 12:12PM **

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: we found him_

 

_theofficialgayprincess: oh thank god_

 

_restinpidge: is he alright??_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: *attached photo*_

 

_restinpidge: IS THAT A TONGUEH PIERCING_

 

_emobaby: is_

 

_emobaby: is he naked!??_

 

_restinpidge: omg wtf happened_

 

_killmenow: I JUST GOT KEITH;S TEXT THANK THE LORDS HE'S ALRIGHT_

 

_natt: omg lance!!!_

 

_blueboy: im literally right next to u kat_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: stay there bro im gonna go get hunk_

 

_blueboy: :(_

 

_restinpidge: lance, wtf happened_

 

_blueboy: nothing much_

 

_restinpidge: "nothing much" my ass_

* * *

 

 

Lance sighed, placing his phone in the jacket Katia gave him after the screaming fest. He was cold. He couldn't believe how much he let himself go this time. He raised his finger to his tongue again, touching the blue sphere and smiling a bit, he would admit, he didn't regret the piercing. It was hot. Yes, he knew how narcissistic that sounded but it was! 

 

He frowned softly to himself and leaned back on the bench. God what a crazy night it had been. Lance knew that soon enough he'd have to tell his mom or Katia or _someone_ what had happened yesterday, but right now all he wanted to do was cuddle into his sheets and never leave them. He always felt this way during or after a manic episode. He always felt hollow and cold. Soon enough he just came to the conclusion that it was because he drained all the happiness and craziness from himself that he just felt like a different person afterwards. He hated it. He never let anyone grow close to them because he didn't want to hurt him. One time when he was 14, he was having a episode and hit his sister out of anger, it wasn't on purpose, he was just so _angry_. He never let his sibling get close to him during those episodes anymore. He never let anyone get close. The fear of hurting someone or worrying someone made Lance angry. Angry at himself for not being able to control himself. But now wasn't the time to be angry. Right now he needed to assure his friends and family he was alright and didn't need babying.

 

"Lance, thank god!" Hunk yelled, smushing Lance into a bear hug.

 

Lance smiled and hugged back softly, "Hey, I'm alright."

 

Hunk pulls away and looks into the Cuban boy's eyes, "Don't you ever do that again, you hear me?"

 

Lance gulped and nodded, looking at his sister who was shaking her head, "I just texted Mama, and she demands you home right now."

 

Lance sighs again, standing up, and then blushing because he just realized he was indeed, not wearing any pants. Hunk chuckles and grabs a pair from his back pack, "Bought it at the mall, thought you would need these."

 

Lance grins, pulling on the pants and hugs Hunk once more before quietly walking with the two back to his house.

 

* * *

 

 

As soon as Lance walked through the door, Tessa, and Ray tackled him to the floor, "Lancella, where were you?" Tessa whined, hugging her brother tightly.

 

"Uncle Lance, please don't go away again" Ray cried, snuggling into his side, as Anthony just stared at him coldly, before breaking and whispering, "Don't do that again" and walked away.

 

Lance smiled and got up, kissing both the small children on the head before walking into the kitchen, his sister following close behind. They had dropped hunk off at his house before going home. 

 

The tension in the kitchen was so thick, it could be cut with a knife. To say Teresa and Gabriel were mad was an understatement, they were furious. First, Teresa hugged him, crying into his shoulder and repeating what his younger sister and nephew said, before pulling away and stepping back. Gabriel's turn. Gabriel's face was bright red and he started yelling in Spanish. Telling Lance how irresponsible he was being and how stressed he made Teresa. The yelling went on for a while. Gabriel wouldn't let Lance or Katia get a word in, and his mother, his poor mother had to sit there while her baby was being screamed at for something he couldn't control.

 

When Gabriel finally stopped, Lance let a tear roll down his cheek and he whispered, "I know how irresponsible it was, and I know I worried everyone, but I can't control it. What do you want me to do? If it's that much of an inconvenience for you Papa, I can just leave. Oh wait no, if I do that you'll look like the bad father who drove his son out, can't let that happen."

 

Gabriel snarled and raised his hand to Lance's face, Katia yelled, and then Teresa screamed, "Gabriel, I will force you out of my house this instant if you even lay a finger on our baby."

 

Gabriel stormed outside, probably to smoke, and Lance sat down on one of the chairs, "I'm sorry Mama.."

 

Teresa smiled sadly at her son and took his cheek into her hand, "You have nothing to be sorry about, mijo."

 

* * *

 

 

**7:29PM**

 

**pidgepidgeimabird to katinthehat**

 

_pidgepidgeimabird: is lance alright, i was gonna text him but i wanted to make sure he was ok first_

 

_katinthehat: hes laying in bed rn. get the whole gc to proclaim their love to him so he cheers up_

 

_pidgepidgeimabird: on it_

 

* * *

 

 

**pidgethebitch renamed lance search party to lance appreciation day**

 

 

_pidgethebitch: hi code blue_

 

_queenofhoneynutcheerios: oh nooo :((_

 

_mcrdiedsoidiedtoo: ?_

 

_pidgethebitch: seriously? was allura the only one who read the code handbook_

 

_whatthefuckisupkyle: obvioisly_

 

_letshirorest: keith trashed the one u sent us and im still bitter abt it_

 

_mcrdiedsoidiedtoo: i thought they were trying to get us into some cult_

 

_pidgethebitch: THAT WAS ONE TIME KEITH. ONE TIME._

 

_pidgethebitch: anyways._

 

_pidgethebitch: lance needs love_

 

_queenofhoneynutcheerios: honestly im already on it_

 

_dothehunkashuffle: rt, writing my paragrpah now_

 

_mcrdiedsoidiedtoo: is he ok?_

 

_pidgethebitch: idk katia just said to send him love_

 

_letshirorest: i know this is a bad time but can we talk abt how keith showed that he cared for someone like twice today_

 

_mcrdiedsoidiedtoo: SHUT THE FUCK UP_

 

_whatthefuckisupkyle: im crying hes growing_

 

_pidgethebitch: guys. lance + affection??_

 

_letshirorest: okok_

 

**for forks sake**

_theofficialgayprincess: lance i just wanted to say even tho we just met we are best friends and ilysm pls dont forget how much i love u bestie my meme soulmate_

 

_restinpidge: lance ik i can be a lil shit at time but ily lots and i really hope ur ok, ill get hunk and bring u lots of junk food tmrw_

 

_killmenow: hey lance! i really hope you're alright, if you ever need anything im here for you_

 

_natt: as pidge's older brother i will always be here to help get revenge on them and i will always be here if u needa talk my dude_

 

_2hunkyforu: lance, you're my best friend and i love u so so much, ill always be here for u and i will always be the shoulder u can cry on. if u need me to hug u im there, if u need me to cuddle u in a no homo way im there, if u need me to cuddle u in a all homo way im there, i will be there always i love u lots buddy_

 

_emobaby: this is so sappy i feel out of place_

 

_killmenow: keith._

 

_emobaby: ugh_

 

_emobaby: ok so like i feel like u prolly dont like me which is fine and all but im alwasy here to talk if u need it_

 

_killmenow: ok that was better_

 

_emobaby: :)_

 

 

**3:09AM**

 

_blueboy: oh my god guys im crying_

 

_blueboy: i love you all too_

 

_blueboy: thank you so much_

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi yes teresa mcclain deserves a fucking award for best mother of the year 
> 
> sozo for the angst but i couldnt help myself, but atleast i ended it cutely!!
> 
> also the lance appreciation day gc was a gc that was made w/o lance because this was when everyone was hella worried when he was missing, pidge was planning a search party for after school but hunk & katia skipped school and found him ^^
> 
> hope you enjoyed!


	4. never thought id see lances dick today

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so like i didnt really have any idea how to continue this so i went to my best fren for help (@letkunimirest is a blessing) and she thought of a good nudes idea ;) enjoy!
> 
> ps i may have misspelled their users sozo this isnt edited lmao

**2:08PM**

 

_blueboy: *Image Attached*_

 

_blueboy: FUCK WRONG PLACE_

 

_restinpidge: its sad that at this point in my life, lance's dick doesn't even phase me_

 

_2hunkyforu: how did you mess up for forks sake with a persons name_

 

_blueboy: I DONT KNOW IM SORRY_

 

_emobaby: oh_

 

_natt: *keiths gay intensifies*_

 

_theofficialgayprincess: *my gay intensifies*_

 

_emobaby: *all of u can go suck a dick*_

 

_killmenow: id be down as long as it was matt's_

 

_blueboy: the person that was meant to go to just fuckin turned me down little shit head_

 

_emobaby: o h_

 

_natt: whats happening_

 

_restinpidge: keiths gay really is intensifying_

 

_emobaby: FUCK OFF_

 

_theofficialgayprincess: who were you sending it to tho_

 

_blueboy: this dude called rolo but he fuckin turned me down lil shit_

 

_emobaby: oh i know him_

 

_blueboy: wait what_

 

_emobaby: whoops i forgot how to type_

 

_blueboy: KEITHHH_

 

_emobaby: seems ive forgotten how to read as well_

 

_killmenow: this is so gay_

 

_2hunkyforu: *cries in hetero*_

 

_blueboy: *cries in bi*_

 

_emobaby: *cries in gay*_

 

_natt: *cries in demi*_

 

_restinpidge: *cries in ace*_

 

_killmenow: *cries in pan*_

 

_theofficialgayprincess: whats happening_

 

_theofficialgayprincess: oh_

 

_theofficialgayprincess: *cries in poly*_

 

_blueboy: that was the best way to come out ever_

 

_natt: goals_

 

_theofficialgayprincess: im so slow ffs_

 

_blueboy: ily bby_

 

_theofficialgayprincess: <3_

 

_2hunkyforu: honestly didnt mean to start a chain reaction but it was cute_

 

_restinpidge: guys wait_

 

_blueboy: ?_

 

_restinpidge: where did keith go?_

 

* * *

 

 

**gaybrogane to panbrogane**

 

_gaybrogane: SHIRO OH MY GOD_

 

_panbrogane: dont_

 

_gaybrogane: IM SO GAY SHIRO_

 

_panbrogane: keith no_

 

_gaybrogane: WHY DID HIS DICK LOOK SO GOOD_

 

_panbrogane: KEITH I SAID NO_

 

_panbrogane: waIt_

 

_panbrogane: DOES THAT MEAN YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON LANEC_

 

_gaybrogane: SHUT UP_

 

_panbrogane: OH MY GOD KEITHY HAS A CRUSH_

 

_gaybrogane: dIE_

* * *

 

 

**for forks sak** **e**

 

_emobaby: sorry i went to the bathroom_

 

_restinpidge: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_

 

_2hunkyforu: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_

 

_theofficialgayprincess: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_

 

_natt: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_

 

_blueboy: was my dick too much ;))_

 

_emobaby: fuck off_

 

_blueboy: thats wasnt a no ;)_

 

_emobaby: i wouldnt touch your dick with a four foot pole_

 

_blueboy: ;((_

 

_killmenow: keith why is there a slice of pizza on the floor_

 

_emobaby: oh_

 

_natt: keith dont_

 

_emobaby: matt came over earlier w pizza and we ate it all and forgot to save u some so we didnt talk about it and im guessing we dropped one by accident_

 

_natt: GDI KEITH_

 

_killmenow: MATT HOW COULD YOU_

 

_killmenow: YOU SHALL BE PUNISHED_

 

_emobaby: please not in our house, do it at matt's._

 

_restinpidge: UM, DO NOT DO IT AT MATTS_

 

_blueboy: honestly i bet matt has a daddy kink_

 

_natt: lmao wait what_

 

_emobaby: IVE HEARD IT_

 

_killmenow: KEITH NO_

 

_blueboy: KEITH YES_

 

_emobaby: THE WALLS ARE THIN SHIRO. THIN._

 

_emobaby: I HEAR EVERY MOAN_

 

_emobaby: I HEAR EVERY SOUND_

 

_emobaby: IM SCARRED FOR LIFE FROM THE SHIT IVE HEARD COME OUT OF MATT'S MOUTH_

 

_blueboy: wait keitg_

 

_blueboy: what school do u even go to_

 

_killmenow: thank u for taking the topic off my sex life_

 

_killmenow: he does online school_

 

_emobaby: yup_

 

_blueboy: oh_

 

_restinpidge: *lances bi heart breaks*_

 

_blueboy: ffuck u_

 

_restinpidge: ffuck_

 

_blueboy: its not my faulrt my phome is a pceice og shit_

_theofficialgayprincess: if u have an android we're divorcing_

 

_blueboy: again??_

 

_theofficialgayprincess: yes_

 

_theofficialgayprincess: now answer the question bitch_

 

_blueboy: its an iphone 5s_

 

_theofficialgayprincess: phEw_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: omg i forgot i was still in this gc_

 

_blueboy: oh for fucks sake_

 

_emobaby: for forks sake*_

 

_blueboy: fuck off mullet_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: lancellaaaaaa_

 

_blueboy: ugh fuck ypu_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: i love u lil bro <3_

 

_emobaby: i thought you were twins?_

 

_2hunkyforu: kat came out first_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: :))_

 

_blueboy: smh_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: wait lance come to my room for a sec_

 

_blueboy: why tho_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: u havent fuckin left ur room all day get in here_

 

_blueboy: ugh why_

 

_restinpidge: omg all day??_

 

_theofficialgayprincess: bby thats not healthy_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: *Video Attached*_

 

_emobaby: wait_

 

_emobaby: thats lance??!_

 

_restinpidge: i love how u ignore the fact that in the video lance literally got jumpscared and fell on a pile pf legos and go straight to his looks_

 

_killmenow: ;))_

 

_emobaby: fuck u_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: OH FUCK_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: HES TAKEN MY LAPTOP_

 

_restinpidge: oh ur screwed kat lol_

 

_blueboy: WHY IS THERE SO MUCH GAY PORN_

 

_emobaby: SBVIFSD_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: ITS CALLED YAOI_

 

_blueboy: THEY ALL LOOK SO UNREALISTIC_

 

_blueboy: oh god the "haikyuu" folder is so fucking innaprpritss_

 

_blueboy: IS THAT_

 

_blueboy: honestly wish that dude was sucking my dick damn_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: LANCENSG_

 

_blueboy: WAIT THATS THE PRETTY SETTER YOU SCREAM ABT_

 

_blueboy: ID FUCK_

 

_killmenow: i just heard keith scream_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: KEITH DO TOU WATCH HAIKYUU_

 

_emobaby: GDI SHIRO_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: PLS SAY IWA TOPS_

 

_emobaby: UM FUCK YES, OIKAWA IS SUCH A POWERBTOTOM_

 

_restinpidge: *coughs* just like u *coughs*_

_emobaby: P IDGE_

 

_blueboy: theres so many fanfics_

 

_blueboy: wait one made today_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: FUCK DONT READ THAT ONE_

 

_blueboy: KATIA ARYN MCCLAIN_

 

_blueboy: WHY DO YOU HAVE PORN OF ME AND A CERTAIN SOMEONE_

 

_emobaby: *spits tea*_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: FUCK_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: OH GOD HES BACK_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: nO HFBYBSDF HED GRKSIGN MY PGHONE_

 

_kaaaaaatiiaaa: hi my names katia and im a fucking bitch ass pussy_

 

**kaaaaaatiiaaa has left!**

 

_restinpidge: WHO DID SHE WRITE PORN OF_

 

_emobaby: ^^^_

 

_blueboy: NO ONE_

 

* * *

 

**lanceybab to sunshinebab**

 

_lanceybab: im crying hunk_

 

_sunshinebab: who is it?_

 

_lanceybab: fucking keith_

 

_sunshinebab: RELALY_

 

_lanceybab: its really good too_

 

_sunshinebab: lance_

 

_sunshinebab: are u turned on_

 

_lanceybab: .._

 

_lanceybab: maybe_

 

_sunshinebab: JWSFDA_

 

* * *

 

 

**gaybrogane to panbrogane**

 

_gaybrogane: hes so hot im sobbing_

 

_panbrogane: i hate you_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed!! next chapter might be more just messing about or relationship starts i havent decided yet
> 
> i think in abt two chapters we'll get some more angst loves
> 
> dont worry, lance wont hide abt his bipolar disorder forever. he will tell them. eventually.
> 
> and how keith knows rolo will come to light soon ;)) so will lance's past relationship w lotor
> 
> EDIT: DIDNT REALIZE BPD ALSO STOOD FOR BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER, SO SORRY FOR ANY CONFUSION!!! WHEN I SAY BPD I USUALLY MEAN BIPOLAR. LANCE DOESN'T HAVE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
> 
> can u smell the angst cuz i can


	5. ITS OCTOBER MY DUDES

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the little merman: fuck you
> 
>  
> 
> emo skeleton: fork you*
> 
>  
> 
> the little merman: oh sorry, has my cussing offended you? sorry, this is a PG13 chat, you'll need to leave.
> 
>  
> 
> emo skeleton: i-
> 
>  
> 
> bitchy witchy: i love my dead gay son
> 
>  
> 
> the little merman: o h m y g o d

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I T S O C T O B E R
> 
> anyways lmao
> 
> this is kinda just messing around nd the start of shay/hunk (allura comes in later i promise) and more awkward klance flirting lmao
> 
> ik i missed october 1st for this chapter and im sozo so lets pretend its october 1st :))
> 
> thanks for all the kudos on this story <33 it means so much to me that you guys enjoy this
> 
> (UMMM!!!! 800 HITS?? AAA THANK YOU SO MUCH <3)
> 
> EDIT: I FORGOT TO PUT A SUMMARY. IT SHOULD BE THERE NOW

**12:00AM, OCTOBER 1ST**

 

_blueboy: ITS OCTOBER EVERYBODY_

 

_restinpidge: YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS_

 

_blueboy: SPOOKY NICKNAMES_

 

**blueboy has renamed emobaby to emo skeleton**

 

**blueboy has renamed killmenow to hot werewolf dad**

 

**blueboy has renamed restinpidge to gremlin**

 

**blueboy has renamed theofficialgayprincess to bitchy witchy**

 

**blueboy has renamed 2hunkyforu to gordan ramsay**

 

**blueboy has renamed natt to fuckin nerd**

 

**blueboy has renamed themself the little merman**

 

_fuckin nerd: wth this isnt spooky_

 

_the little merman: it is, nerds are fucking scary bitches_

 

_gordon ramsay: im honored to be gordon honestly what an icon_

 

_the little merman: :*_

 

_emo skeleton: HOW COME IM EMO EVEN AS A SKELETON_

 

_bitchy witchy: oh honey._

 

_gremlin: i may be a gremlin but i could fuckin murder u in ur sleep u know_

 

_the little merman: i know dont worry_

 

_hot werewolf dad: ya just had to add dad dint you_

 

_the little merman: OFC!_

 

_emo skeleton: i cant believe u've done this_

 

_the little merman: its october get your fuckin emo pants off and put on ur spooky pants_

 

_gremlin: lance that sounded sexual_

 

_the little merman: ;)_

 

_emo skeleton: i hate this family_

 

* * *

 

 

**3:09PM**

 

_gordon ramsay: I LOVE LANCE_

 

_emo skeleton: how tho_

 

_hot werewolf dad: keith_

 

_emo skeleton: im just kidding how bout u take ur emo pants off jeez_

 

_gordon ramsay: LANCE WHERE ARE YOU I WANNA GIVE U KISSES AND HUGS_

 

_the little merman: im hiding in my bedroom lmao_

 

_gordon ramsay: OK WE'RE GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT AFTER I TALK ABOUT HOW MCH I LOVE YOU_

 

_gremlin: hunk is so soft_

 

_bitchy witchy: let hunk speak :))_

 

_gordon ramsay: SO TODAY I WENT WITH LANCE TO, YOU GUESSED IT, LUSH._

 

_the little merman: not my fault that someone threw my face mask in the garbage after thinking it was empty_

 

_gremlin: katia said it was empty_

 

_the little merman: THERE WAS STILL ENOUGH FOR ONE MORE FACE MASK_

 

_gordon ramsay: LANCE ILY BUT SHSHSH_

 

_gordon ramsay: ANYWAYS_

 

_gordon ramsay: SO WE WALK IN ND LANCE'S FRIEND, SHAY, SAYS HI AND RECOGNIZES ME FROM THE TIME LANCE WENT MISSING_

 

_gordon ramsay: SO WHILE LANCE IS BUYING MILLIONS OF PRODUCTS IM TALKING TO THIS GIRL (VERY AWKWARDLY)_

 

_the little merman: i notice this quickly and swoop in, telling shay that she should go over to hunk's sometime since his cooking is bomb asf_

 

_gordon ramsay: SO NOW SHES COMING OVER TOMORROW_

 

_fuckin nerd: oh my god who knew lance was actually a good wingman_

 

_the little merman: fuck you_

 

_emo skeleton: fork you*_

 

_the little merman: oh sorry, has my cussing offended you? sorry, this is a PG13 chat, you'll need to leave._

 

_emo skeleton: i-_

 

_bitchy witchy: i love my dead gay son_

 

_the little merman: o h m y g o d_

 

_gordon ramsay: THEY WERE NOT WRONG_

 

_the little merman: THEY WERE TWO LONELY VERSES IN THE LORDS GREAT SONG_

 

_gordan ramsay: OUR BOYS WERE PANSIES BILL!_

 

_the little merman: YES, MY BOYS A HOMOSEXUAL_

 

_gordan ramsay: AND THAT DONT SCARE ME NONE_

_the little merman: I WANT THE WORLD KNOWWWWW_

 

_bitchy witchy: I LOVE MY DEAD GAY SON!_

 

_emo skeleton: oh my fuck_

 

_gremlin: why is that memorized_

 

_fuckin nerd: WHAT THE HELL I MISSED THE HEATHERS SING ALONG_

 

_the little merman: pidge, my dead gay son is a beautiful song, dont bash it._

 

_gordon ramsay: im sure there will be lots of heathers references in this fic_

 

_fuckin nerd: what???_

 

_gordon ramsay: anyways._

 

_the little merman: wait keith, have you never seen heathers??_

 

_emo skeleton: who the fuck names a movie heathers_

 

_the little merman: *GASPS IN SPANISH*_

 

__hot werewolf dad: i dont know how many times ive tried to get keith to watch heathers_ _

 

_the little merman: okay, when we meet we're watching the movie and the musical, thats it._

 

_emo skeleton: i didnt agree to this_

 

_the little merman: this isnt a request, its a demand._

 

_gremlin: kinky_

 

_the little merman: i hate you_

 

_gremlin: how much do i have to pay you to reenact dead girl walking with keith_

 

_gordon ramsay: can i get in on this_

 

_emo skeleton: dead girl walking?_

 

_the little merman: ill do it for fifty as long as keith is JD_

 

_gremlin: *smirks*_

 

_emo skeleton: WAIT WHAT IS THIS_

 

_fuckin nerd: i cant believe lance agreed_

 

_gordon ramsay: he'd do it for free if it was literally anyone else, he loves heathers more than anything_

 

_emo skeleton: well thats rude_

 

_gremlin: im so ready for this holy shit_

 

_bitchy witchy: we should all meet sometime though!_

 

_the little merman: yessss_

 

_gremlin: how abt friday? shiro and keith can pick up matt and i and we can all ride to lance's_

 

_gordon ramsay: I can pick up allura if she needs a ride!_

 

_bitchy witchy: great! plan set!_

 

_the little merman: im already setting up for friday im cryig_

 

_gremlin: im already setting up for dead girl walking_

 

_gordon ramsay: i cant believe lance passed up the opportunity to be JD._

 

_the little merman: my goal is to make him flustered enough to hide himself in the bathroom_

 

_emo skeleton: ok im just gonna look this up now_

 

_gremlin: SHIRO_

 

_hot werewolf dad: ON IT_

 

_bitchy witchy: oh yeah lance when we meet im bringing you my favorite face mask <3_

 

_the little merman: im crying ily <3_

 

_gordon ramsay: aren't your siblings gonna be home lance?_

_the little merman: yeah, thats why i rented the basement for the night_

 

_bitchy witchy: rented?_

 

_the little merman: in my family we have a set up where you can take the basement for one night a week without any family members interrupting you_

 

_the little merman: that includes katia, sorry pidge_

 

_gremlin: :(( we were gonna switch one of your face masks with shampoo so your eyes would burn_

 

_the little merman: HWAT_

 

_emo skeleton: OH MY GOD SHIRO JUST FUCKING BARGED IN AND TOOK THE LAPTOP, UNPLUGGED IT AND PUT IT ON TOP OF THE REFRIGERATOR_

 

_the little merman: wait.. can you not reach it?_

 

_emo skeleton: ..._

 

_the little merman: IM SOBBING OH MY GOD THATS GOLD_

 

_hot werewolf dad: being tall really is a blessing_

 

_emo skeleton: i will say this again; i hate this family._

 

* * *

 

**8:31PM**

 

_gordon ramsay: i just realized i never asked why lance was hiding in his room_

 

_bitchy witchy: omg yeah!! are you ok, love?_

 

_the little merman: oh yeah lol anthony was looking for me because i had his tablet_

 

_gordon ramsay: you took his tablet AGAIN?_

 

_the little merman: that little shit is hiding smth im sure of it_

 

_emo skeleton: update: shiro still hasnt given back my laptop_

 

_hot werewolf dad: you dont get it until saturday_

 

_emo skeleton: WTF_

 

_gremlin: i love that shiro is matt's boyfriend_

 

_fuckin nerd: me too, the fuck?_

 

_the little merman: i better be getting $50 for doing this on friday my dudes_

 

_gremlin: wait check pm_

 

* * *

 

 

**pudge to idiot**

 

_pudge: ill give you $100 if you can make keith hard_

 

_idiot: holy shit, $100?_

 

_pudge: yup._

 

_idiot: ..._

 

_idiot: deal._

 

_pudge: oh this is gonna be so much fun._

 

* * *

 

 

**pidgey to sunshine**

 

_pidgey: hi yeah we're gonna have to rack up $100._

 

_sunshine: what???_

 

* * *

**for forks sake**

 

_gremlin: i cannot wait for friday._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAA I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOYED!!
> 
> thanks again for all the kudos on this story <33 means a lot
> 
> please please please leave a comment (if you'd like) they make me feel so happy that you're enjoying the story!
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER WILL MOST LIKELY BE:
> 
> Lance coming out about having Bipolar Disorder  
> How Keith knows Rolo  
> AND MAYBE: Lotor problems.
> 
> ((its not positive all of those or even any of those will be addressed next chapter since i literally can never stay on a plan lmao))
> 
> ALSOOOO
> 
> if you guys have favorite face masks from lush PLEASE COMMENT THEM! ive never used them and i would love to know a favorite so that i can accurately have allura give lance a favorite.
> 
> EDIT: DIDNT REALIZE BPD ALSO STOOD FOR BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER, SO SORRY FOR ANY CONFUSION!!! WHEN I SAY BPD I USUALLY MEAN BIPOLAR. LANCE DOESN'T HAVE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.


	6. lotor needs to burn in hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bitchy witchy: where the fuck does this scum live i wanna fite
> 
> bitchy witchy: no one should be fucking bashed on something they cant control
> 
> gremlin: this dude needs to fucking burn in hell
> 
> emo skeleton: im gonna find him and fucking pick his fingernails off one by one and then shave his head and make him look at his hair just laying on the flor, and then ill rip his fuckin dick in half
> 
> gordon ramsay: id say samae but holy shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeet yeet beat my non existent meat
> 
> OK SO
> 
> p much the friday fun starts next chapter and this is some sprinkled in langst AHAHHA
> 
> sozo that this is so short but i rlly wanted to get this out yknow
> 
> ALSO~~~ 1000+ HITS?!?! ILY ALL HOLY SHIT I NEVER THOUGHT ID SEE THE DAY

**3:02AM, WEDNESDAY**

 

_the little merman: hi yes i cant sleep and hate myself what is new_

 

_emo skeleton: uhhh u realize this is a gc right?_

 

_the little merman: FUCK THAT WAS MEANT FOR HUNK_

 

_emo skeleton: are you ok?_

 

_the little merman: yepperssss!! superb my man!!_

 

_emo skeleton: ...are you sure about that?_

 

_the little merman: yes, dont meme me_

 

_emo skeleton: ...._

 

_emo skeleton: but are you super sure?_

 

_the little merman: oml yes im fine jesus christ leave me to be depressed_

 

_emo skeleton: lance, dont say shit like that.. are you alright??_

 

_the little merman: i cant believe your being kind who are you and what have you done with keith_

 

_emo skeleton: its 3am shut ur fuck_

 

_the little merman: there he is!_

 

_the little merman: anyyywayyyssss_

 

_the little merman: im finna leave cause knowing allura nd hunk ill have to explain why i said that :)))))))))))))_

 

_the little merman: peace out my dude_

 

_emo skeleton: ..._

 

_emo skeleton: are you sure you're okay???_

 

_emo skeleton: ?!?_

 

_emo skeleton: lance???_

 

_emo skeleton: oh fuck u leaving me on read_

 

* * *

 

 

**8:01AM**

 

_gordon r_ _amsay: EXCUSE ME, LANCE_

 

_gordon ramsay: BBY WHATS WRONG_

 

_the little merman: nah nah nothin, im fine now my dude_

 

_bitchy witchy: incorrect answer_

 

_gordon ramsay: are u ok?? :((_

 

_the little merman: shit ok_

 

_the little merman: whos here rn?_

 

_bitchy witchy: well obvs me and hunk_

 

_emo skeleton: im here_

 

_gremlin: me too_

 

_the little merman: ugh ok here goes_

 

_gordon ramsay: wait lance you dont have to if you dont want to_

 

_the little merman: yo they can choose if they wanna be friends w me, if not theyre loss, ruight ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯_

 

_gordon ramsay: lance.._

 

_the little merman: so uh_

 

_the little merman: well the reason i went awol the other day was becuz im bipolar uhh_

 

_the little merman: i was kinda havin an episode yknow_

 

_the little merman: and only few peeps know im bipolar nd stuff_

 

_bitchy witchy: oh bby ;(_

 

_the little merman: and the reason i was feelin shitty is because, well, hunk, u remember lotor rite?_

 

_gordon ramsay: what the fuck did he say to my best friend_

 

_the little merman: welllllll_

 

_the little merman: he wanted to meet up nd apologize for yknow what and i was like "oh ok", dumbest decision ive ever made_

 

_the little merman: i went and met him at his plave and it started fine, just talking and then i just?? got angry at him?? and yelled at him and he hit me and insulted me and then said shit like "you're so fucking crazy, i can't believe id date someone as bipolar as u"_

 

_the little merman: and i was just like welp shit and started cryin_

 

_the little merman: and he just threw more names at me and then picked me up and threw me outside_

 

_the little merman: it was just shit yknow_

 

_bitchy witchy: where the fuck does this scum live i wanna fite_

 

_bitchy witchy: no one should be fucking bashed on something they cant control_

 

_gremlin: this dude needs to fucking burn in hell_

 

_emo skeleton: im gonna find him and fucking pick his fingernails off one by one and then shave his head and make him look at his hair just laying on the flor, and then ill rip his fuckin dick in half_

 

_gordon ramsay: id say samae but holy shit_

 

_the little merman: nah nah its ok_

 

_the little merman: im just glad my face still looks good ;))_

 

_gordon ramsay: lance its ok to cry sometimes u know_

 

_the little merman: yea but he doesnt deserve my tears :))_

 

_emo skeleton: are u ok tho??_

 

_the little merman: yea yea ofc, im always ok my dude_

 

_bitchy witchy: lance.._

 

_the little merman: im alright ok?? a little fight never hurt nobody_

 

_gordon ramsay: except u!! he hit u!!_

 

_the little merman: ehh, it was nothing_

 

_gremlin: someone wake up shiro he needs to knock sense into lance god damn_

 

_emo skeleton: oh dont worry i did as soon as lance started venting :)_

 

_hot werewolf dad: OH MY GOD LANCE WHAT THE FUCK_

 

_hot werewolf dad: WHERE DOES HE LIVE I WANNA THROW MY ARM AT HIM_

 

_hot werewolf dad: NOBODY, AND I MEAN NOBODY DESERVES TO BE FUCKING HIT AND INSULTED OVER THEIR MENTAL DISORDERS, ITS SO FUCKING WRONG. YOU CANNOT CONTROL IT, ITS NOT YOUR FAULT, HES JUST SCUM ON THE BOTTOM OF MY SHOE OK? YOU ARE A WONDERFUL YOUNG MAN AND DONT DESERVE THAT BS._

 

_natt: pidge can we hack into his phone and post his nudes to his fb_

 

_the little merman: im crying thanks dad_

 

_emo skeleton: shiro gives best advice even if he is an idiot_

 

_hot werewolf dad: HEY_

 

_gremlin: @ matt hell ye but i dont got his last name my dude_

 

_gordon ramsay: i cant believe he did that shit again fuckin slug_

 

_emo skeleton: aGAIN?_

 

_gordon ramsay: shit_

 

_the little merman: thats a story for another time, keithy boy_

 

_the little merman: since i just poured my heart out abt my shit life, hbu give me the tea on rolo ;))_

 

_emo skeleton: ugh ok pm tho_

 

_the little merman: my skin is clear, my crops have flourished_

 

_hot werewolf dad: are none of you going to school??_

 

* * *

 

 

**bibibytch to mulletman**

 

_bibibytch: spill babe_

 

_mulletman: dont call me babe_

 

_bibibytch: i totally made u blush huh_

 

_mulletman: nO_

 

_mulletman: anywhore_

 

_bibibytch: ANYWHORE_

 

_mulletman: STFU_

 

_mulletman: anywHORE_

 

_mulletman: so p much rolo used to b my fwb and uhhh_

 

_bibibytch: holy shit keith isnt a vvirgin_

 

_mulletman: fuck u_

 

_mulletman: anyways_

 

_bibibytch: anywhore*_

 

_mulletman: rolo and i had been fwb for like years my dude_

 

_mulletman: and then suddenly he just stopped calling and i was like "oh whale ig he got a bf"_

 

_mulletman: nah my dude he got a gf_

 

_mulletman: like a g i r l friend_

 

_bibibytch: ugh ur tea is boring, hes pan u dumb shit_

 

_mulletman: wtf_

 

_mulletman: iw as heartbroken i thought he was straight and just using me for a fuck_

 

_bibibytch: keith.. keithy boy.. babe.. thats what fwb is, jst sex_

 

_mulletman: oh_

 

_mulletman: SHIT_

 

_bibibytch: you poor soul_

 

_mulletman: omg im so dumb m screaming_

 

_bibibytch: ur so cute awe_

 

_mulletman: die_

 

_bibibytch: gladly_

 

* * *

 

 

**gaybrogane to panbrogane**

 

_gaybrogane: can we talk abt how my stupidity has brought me great things_

 

_panbrogane: wtf mine never does_

 

_gaybrogane: stfu_

 

_gaybrogane: lance called me babe twice and im literally a red mushroom i hate myself_

 

_panbrogane: omgomgomg_

 

_gaybrogane: literally crying what have i done_

 

_panbrogane: hi yea this is matt but HOLY SHIT_

 

_gaybrogane: OMG DONT TELL ANYONE I BEG_

 

_panbrogane: Sorry keith, matt got my phone, everything alright?_

 

_panbrogane: oh nevermind_

 

_panbrogane: yoinks ill talk to him_

 

_gaybrogane: idk if i should be shook and scared abt my secret or laughing abt how u just said yoinks_

 

* * *

 

 

** for forks sake **

 

_gremlin: and thats how school was cancelled_

 

_bitchy witchy: holy shite_

 

_the little merman: honestly i give kudos to that kid. iconic._

 

_gremlin: me too the fuck_

 

_gordon ramsay: how did we go from deep convos to talking about the kid who triggered the vegans_

 

_the little merman: honestly idk_

 

_natt: wtf thats so iconic i wanna be frens_

 

_emo skeleton: wow i do not miss public school_

 

_the little merman: but keithhh_

 

_the little merman: if u went to my school ud be able to see my hot bod every month ;))_

 

_emo skeleton: wa t_

 

_gordon ramsay: he holds a dance recital thing with some kids in our class every month_

 

_gremlin: its not half bad_

 

_emo skeleton: wtf yalls schools are wild_

 

_gremlin: i love texan keith_

 

_the little merman: HES FROM TEXAS?_

_emo skeleton: ew yea before i was plopped into shiros fam_

 

_the little merman: howdy pardner_

 

_emo skeleton: i hate u_

 

_the little merman: me too_

 

_gremlin: lance wtf why wont u let ur sister take a pic of ur tongue piercing_

 

_the little merman: why do u talk to my sister so often??_

 

_gremlin: cuz we besties the fuck_

 

_the little merman: sm h_

 

_the little merman: i wont let her take it becuz shed then have blackmail_

 

_gremlin: blackmail??_

 

_the little merman: all u get is that i changed the piercing and its.. something_

 

_gremlin: i hate that i havent been able to see that shit wtf_

 

_bitchy witchy: why not?_

 

_gremlin: ive been sick all week but dont worry, im still coming friday_

 

_the little merman: omg i forgot abt friday_

 

_emo skeleton: my laptop is still on top of the fridge_

 

_gremlin: :))_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the lotor business will be explored deeper later
> 
> also lance calling keith babe is my kink
> 
> thanks for all the kudos babes, yall rlly make me feel all fluffy inside <3
> 
> i hope yall will enjoy next chap im so excited to write it
> 
> next chapter:  
> friday fun day  
> klance moments  
> lots of gay  
> no angst dont worry
> 
> if yall wanna chat my twitter is: https://twitter.com/lovelymcclain
> 
>  
> 
> btwwww: when i say bpd somewhere in the fic i mean bipolar disorder NOT borderline personality disorder x


	7. dead lance walking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "OH MY GOD ARE YOU CRYING?" lance yelled, while pidge took a photo on her phone.
> 
> "UM YES?? JD JUST FUCKING COMMITTED SUICIDE!"
> 
> "HE WAS A MURDERER, KEITH."
> 
> "SO? AND WHAT A FUCKING BITCH MOVE VERONICA, 'SAY HI TO GOD?' FUCK YOU HE WAS A BEAUTIFUL MAN."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> w a r n i n g ; heathers spoilers lol
> 
> I TOTALLY FORGOT TO WRITE ABT HUNKS DATE SO HE WILL TALK ABT IT IN THIS CHAPTER
> 
> THIS IS NOT REALLY GC ITS JUST LIKE?? THIRD PERSON WRITING?? BUT YOU HAVE TO READ IT TO GET SOME POINTS OF THIS WILD PLOT
> 
> ps im sorry this took so long to post honestly ive had 0 motivation holy shite on a stick
> 
> pps this is rlly shit but like i rlly wanted to get it out so *BLAM*
> 
> ppps this is a mess, its written at 12am so pls dont attack me for my grammar mistakes, punctuation mistakes, im sozo but i just rlly wanted to out x
> 
> okokokok also
> 
> can YALL BELIEVE this fic started out as like a joke kinda fic?? like my friend (@letkunimirest ily) was like "if i write this u gottsa write a gc fic" so i was like "ok lol" and now this has 7 chapters, over 1200 hits, and over 130 kudos?? i love u guys tysm for all the support

Lance was running through the house, grabbing snacks and stealing his siblings blankets. He ran into Anthony's room and stole his large quilt that he kept at the end of the bed, saying to him quickly, "i did your chores last week so as my repayment i get to use grandmas quilt tonight, thanks"

 

Anthony yelled after he left, something about he better not get it dirty, lance didn't listen. he rushed to the next sibling room, katia's, and yelled as soon as he waked in, "i need pillows, blankets, and your copy of heathers."

 

she sighed and passed the items over slowly before smirking and saying, "you owe me a pizza, 2 liter of coke and breadsticks"

 

lance nodded, running down the stairs and then into the basement, placing everything is a good place and smiling at his hard work, "i was productive today holy shit"

 

he pulled out his phone quickly and scrambled to open the for forks sake groupchat.

 

** for forks sake **

 

_thelittlemerman: when are u guys coming i literally just ordered the pizza_

 

_gremlin: omw now w the brogane kiddos and matt_

 

_gordon ramsay: allura and i are also on our way!_

 

_thelittlemerman: cool cool alright alright_

 

_gordon ramsasy: you okay?_

_thelittlemerman: lil nervous but ill be fine!! c u all soon!_

 

Lance jumped onto the couch, rubbing his face and sighing. _it will be alright lance, they wont judge you. they are your friends._

 

he stayed there for a few minutes until he heard the doorbell. he ran up the stairs and opening the door. there stood pidge, matt, and a boy with a mullet and another man with a prosthetic arm. "uhh, hey." lance mumbled, stepping back and letting his friends in.

 

"nice place, lance. very homey-"

 

"LANCE HOLY SHIT, ANTHONY JUST THREW UP AFTER EATING ELEVEN MARSHME-" Katia yelled, running down the stairs, "Oh fuck, uh sorry! Hey!"

 

Pidge snorted while shiro and keith just looked confused, and then keith blurted out, "You look identical to lance!"

 

Lance laughed and ruffled keith's hair, "we are twins dipshit, maybe not identical, but very similar dna my dude."

 

keith blushed and shiro just laughed, sticking his hand out boldly, "Hey, I'm Shiro and this is my little brother Keith."

 

Katia gaped and said, "Holy shit you're hot! Lance, you didn't tell me you had hot friends!"

 

"Katia, he's a bit too old for you, also, you're gay?"

 

"Pfft, so? Even if i like pussy doesn't mean i can't appreciate a good dick, yknow?"

 

lance rolled his eyes, "katia, i'm bi."

 

"oh shit, thats right!"

 

"ugh, wait- did you even check to see if anthony was alright?"

 

"uhh, no?"

 

"for fucks sake, okay, pidge, take them to the basement, i've gotta clean up vomit."

 

"ugh fine." pidge grumbled, walking down into the basement, the broganes  and matt following close behind.

 

* * *

 

 

lance smiled and cuddled into the couch, munching on his popcorn and whispering along to some of the lines he knew from heathers. Keith kept saying "couple goals" and hunk was trying not to spoil the whole movie.

 

"Wait what? I don't understand, how could Veronica think that JD is still a good guy even after they shot the two gay football players?" keith said, turning around and making direct eye contact with lance.

 

"keith, they weren't actually gay-"

 

"lance, they were gay. don't deny this."

 

"lance! they were so gay, come on!" allura yelled, throwing popcorn at him.

 

"but-"

 

"no buts, they were fucking gay."

 

"fine."

* * *

 

 

"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK." keith yelled, throwing his popcorn at the television, tears rolling down his cheeks.

 

"OH MY GOD ARE YOU CRYING?" lance yelled, while pidge took a photo on her phone.

 

"UM YES?? JD JUST FUCKING COMMITTED SUICIDE!"

 

"HE WAS A MURDERER, KEITH."

 

"SO? AND WHAT A FUCKING BITCH MOVE VERONICA, 'SAY HI TO GOD?' FUCK YOU HE WAS A BEAUTIFUL MAN."

 

"DID YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON JD?? WHAT THE FUCK KEITH?" 

 

keith busts in to an ugly cry, and honestly lance thought it was adorable, and yells "HE WAS HOT LANCE. SO VERY HOT."

 

lance just whispers in reply, "his voice makes him sound like a drug addict."

 

everyone but keith busted out laughing.

 

* * *

 

 

pidge pulled lance aside and smiled, "ready for dead girl walking?"

 

lance blushed lightly and smirked, "never been more ready in my life.

 

* * *

 

 

keith was confused, everyone had said they had to go something, so he was just sitting alone on lance's couch. he just took out his phone and scrolled through twitter until he heard music booming through some speakers, he looked up immediately and looked around the room, only to see lance in the darkness. "lance?"

 

"The demon queen of highschool had decreed it." Lance sung, smiling in the darkness, not taking a step forward.

 

"are you drunk?"

 

"She says monday, 8am i will be deleted." he laughed, "they'll hunt me down in study hall, stuff and mount me on the wall, thirty hours to live how shall i spend them?"

 

everything in keith's mind clicked at the very moment, "oh god, is this dead girl walking?"

 

"i don't have to stay and die like cattle! i could change my name and ride up to seattle. but, i don't own a motorbike" he took a pause and stared keith right in the eyes, "wait here's an option that i like, spend these thirty hours gettin', freaky, yeah!"

 

he started slow walking towards him, his eyes lidded slightly, "i need it hard, i'm a dead girl walking!" he continued the verse and got closer and closer.

 

"lance, what the fuck are you doing?" keith mumbled, looking anywhere but his eyes.

 

"shhh. sorry, but i really had to wake you," he giggled, placing his finger on keith's lips. "See, i've decided i must ride you 'till i break you!"

 

keith's jaw dropped, "what?!"

 

"Cause heather says i gotsta go, your my last meal on death row. shut your mouth, and lose them tighty whiteys! come on!" he yelled, climbing onto keith's lap.

 

keith gaped, his breath running out of him and his heartbeat quickening. "Tonight i'm yours! i'm a dead girl walking~" he sung, grinding his hips down on keith's, a gasp leaving his mouth.

 

lance was NOT losing this bet, "Get on all fours, kiss this dead girl walking!" lance kissed him, on the lips, and god, keith felt like he was on the moon. 

 

his tongue somehow ended up in keiths mouth, but keith wasn't complaining. jesus, that tongue piercing was a blessing, he could imagine all the dirty things he could- ok, let's not do this right now keith.

 

"Let's go you know the drill, i'm hot and pissed and on the pill." he smirked, holding up three fingers, "bow down to the will of a dead girl walking!"

 

he quickly grabbed keiths face and looked into his eyes, rubbing his cheek with his thumb slightly, "and you know, you know, you know~ it's cause your beautiful.. you say your numb inside, but i cant agree. so the world's unfair? keep it locked out there. In here its beautiful! Let's make this beautiful!"

 

Keith was in utter shock, and then the music dropped and lance just took his shirt off and continued grinding his hips down onto keiths, letting out small moans and winking at him at every chance. keith would never admit it, but he was grinding back. it felt unworldly it was so good. and then the music changed again, "Yeeahh!" Lance yelled, "Full steam ahead, take this dead girl walking!"

 

Pidge and matt yelled from the darkness, "How'd you find my address?"

 

"Let's break the bed, rock this dead girl walking!"

 

"I think we tore my mattress!" allura laughed from next to pidge.

 

lance licked his lips and got real close to keith's face, whispering his next line, "no sleep tonight for you, better chug that mountain dew."

 

small 'okay okays' came from the darkness. Lance smiled innocently one more time and full on grabbed keith's dick through his pants, a yelp leaving keith's lips. "Get your ass in gear, make this whole town disappear!"

 

more okay okays came from the darkness, more small giggles too. Lance grabbed keith's hand and slapped his own ass, yelling, "Slap me!" He then made the hand pull at lance's hair, a moan emitted from him, "Pull my hair!" Keith got back control of his hands and pinched one of lance's nipples, a gasp being heard ever so quietly from lance, "Touch me there and there and there!"

 

He then put a hand over keith's lips, panting and whispering, "No more talking!" and ground down the hardest he could, "Love this dead girl walking!"

 

Pidge and allura were still mumbling JD's part until it got kind of steamy. After lance spurted that line keith started kissing down lance's neck, massaging his dick slowly and moaning as lance pulled his hair, hard. when keith's lips somehow got onto lance's nipple, lance yelled his last line, "YEAH~!"

 

The song cut and lance quickly jumped off keith's lap, smirking and turning on the lights, pidge and allura looked shocked while shiro was fake gagging and hunk was a flustered mess, while matt was just dying in laughter. "YOU OWE ME $100!"

 

Keith stood up quickly only to stop himself to notice the huge bulge poking out of his jeans, "DAMMIT" he yelled, running to the bathroom.

 

"i cannot believe i just witnessed that with my own eyes." pidge mumbled, handing over the $100 bill.

 

* * *

 

 

Lance smiled and waved to his friends, watching them drive away. He turned around only to see himself grinding on keith's lap with dead girl walking playing in the background, "GOD DAMMIT KATIA, YOU BETTER TELL PIDGE TO DELETE THAT SHIT!"

 

katia smirked, "i can't believe you made out with mullet guy."

 

"he's hot okay??" lance whined, stomping up to his room. 

 

* * *

 

 

** for forks sake **

 

_gremlin: i still can't believe lance kissed keith im in utter shock_

 

_bitchy witchy: that was really hot tho ngl_

 

_natt: honestly i wish i had lances voice wtf_

 

_thelittlemerman: ikr x_

 

_emo skeleton: i hate you all_

 

_thelittlemerman: u thought it was hot babe xxx_

 

_emo skeleton: DIE_

 

_hot werewolf dad: i cant believe i witnessed my brother have oral sex with a guy he just met_

 

_thelittlemerman: OK BUT LIKE I DID A 12/10 PERFORMANCE IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF_

 

_thelittlemerman: also_

 

_thelittlemerman: PIDGE, YOU SENT HTTA TO MY SISTRT?????_

 

_gremlin: whoops!_

 

_emo skeleton: W HAT_

 

_gordon ramsay: ok im gonna change the subject, shay is so prefect??_

 

_thelittlemerman: OMG I TOTALLY FORGOT TO ASK, HOW WAS THE DATE???_

 

_emo skeleton: he has the attention span of a dog i stg_

 

_gordon ramsay: AAAA IT WAS SO PERFECT SHES SO BEAUTIFUL AND FUNNY AND KIND AND IDHBFA_

 

_bitchy witchy: WHAT THE FUCK?? PICS??_

 

_gordon ramsay: [Image Attached]_

 

_bitchy witchy: SHES SO PRETTY IM CRYING WHAT AN ICON_

 

_thelittlemerman: SHES SUCH A CATCH OMG U BETTER INTRODUCE ME TO HER_

 

_gordon ramsay: lance.. you've met her_

 

_thelittlemerman: oh yeah_

 

_thelittlemerman: BUT STILL LIKE AS BOYFRIEND GIRLFRIEND_

 

_gordon ramsay: WE ARENT EVEN OFFICIAL YET BBY_

 

_thelittlemerman: OH BUT YOU WILL BE_

 

_hot werewolf dad: she's v pretty hunk!! i hoep youare happy w her\1!_

 

_gordon ramsay: thanks dad <3_

 

_hot werewolf dad: pls no_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so uh, heres this?
> 
> AAAAA THIRD PERSON WRITING IS HARD
> 
> also im sorry the dead girl walking scene was rlly shit ive never written third person smut D: i promise ill try and do better during the real frickle frackle
> 
> anywhoosies
> 
> thanks for reading!!
> 
> i hope to get into more of klance and shay/hunk/allura soon, and maybeee pidge/oc soon, that might come later idk but like im so slow and thsi is sorta kinda a crack fic
> 
> also i havent figured out how to slide in the klangst (like their pasts) but i swear it will h a p p e n, slowly but surely loves xx
> 
> if yall wanna chat my twitter is: https://twitter.com/lovelymcclain
> 
>  
> 
> btwwww: when i say bpd somewhere in the fic i mean bipolar disorder NOT borderline personality disorder x
> 
>  
> 
> EDIT: the best part abt updating at midnight is that u can edit in that lance's tongue piercing is a beautiful thing and no one will know u forgot abt it


	8. crikeys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so like
> 
> this is my second time writing this since the first draft got deleted by my shitty computer.
> 
> this chapter did not go how the first draft went
> 
> sorry..? :)
> 
>  
> 
> ps im not gonna write abt keiths bday because it would ruin me plans but happy birthday keith!! :)
> 
> pps this is kind of a vent chapter but like it works
> 
> ppps i totally forgot i put spaces in the little merman last chapter sorry ill do it from now on im literally just brain dead and dont remember half the shit i write lmao
> 
> pppps i didnt know what to name this so i thought crikeys was good idk bro

**5:12 AM SATURDAY**

 

_gremlin: I JUST REALIZED I NEVER LOOKED AT YOUR GODDAMN TONGUE PIERCING LANCE_

 

_emo skeleton: lmao_

 

_gremlin: KEITH WHATS IT LOOK LIKE_

 

_emo skeleton: i wasnt exactly looking at it pidge_

 

_gremlin: that was kinda gross_

 

_emo skeleton: u asked a question and i answered?_

 

_gremlin: death_

 

_gremlin: lance wtf where are u_

 

_emo skeleton: prolly asleep??_

 

_gremlin: he has a million siblings hes up dont fite me on this binch_

 

_emo skeleton: ok then_

* * *

 

 

**lanceybab to sunshinebab**

 

  _lanceybab: hey are you up_

 

_lanceybab: probably not, huh._

 

_lanceybab: sorry for bothering you_

 

_sunshinebab: hey hey no im here, whats wrong_

 

_lanceybab: just, dont tell anyone,, okay?_

 

_sunshinebab: i promise lance_

 

_lanceybab: ..._

 

_lanceybab: lotor called_

 

_sunshinebab: excuse me?_

 

_lanceybab: idk i first ignored it and stuff_

 

_lanceybab: but he kept calling and calling so i just picked up_

 

_lanceybab: i think he may have been drunk or something_

 

_lanceybab: but he just mumbled shit and i didn't understand him so i was gonna hang up_

 

_lanceybab: but then he said he loved me still?_

 

_sunshinebab: lance.._

 

_lanceybab: ik ik it was prolly just him being a dick but_

 

_lanceybab: why do i still feel something for him?_

 

_sunshinebab: what?_

 

_lanceybab: idk i know he did horrible shit to me but somewhere deep inside me i still care for that spork_

 

_sunshinebab: lance.. don't just call it "horrible shit", he would abuse you, make you do sexual things you didnt want to do, make you drink, and don't you remember that one time he drugged you?_

 

_lanceybab: i know hunk_

 

_lanceybab: believe me i know_

 

_lanceybab: but for some fucked up reason i still care for him_

 

_sunshinebab: promise me you won't get back together with him_

 

_sunshinebab: promise me._

 

_lanceybab: i wont,, i promise_

 

_sunshinebab: good. now forget abt that slug and think abt ur new bf ;))_

 

_lanceybab: ??_

 

_sunshinebab: keith ofc ;)_

 

_lanceybab: i h8 u_

 

_sunshinebab: no u dont_

 

_lanceybab: u rite u rite_

 

* * *

 

 

** for forks sake **

 

_the little merman: im here wyw_

 

_gremlin: bitch where was u_

 

_the little merman: busy hoe_

 

_gremlin: smh_

 

_gremlin: will u pls tell me what the piercing is_

 

_the little merman: ,,,_

 

_the little merman: ok dont laugh but like_

 

_the little merman: its blue and it says kiss my ass_

 

_gremlin: are u fr rn_

 

_the little merman: 100% serious my friend_

 

_gremlin: im just_

 

_gremlin: lmao what_

 

_gremlin: keith didnt kiss ur ass tho_

 

_the little merman: fuck u_

 

_gremlin: lmaooooooooo_

 

_emo skeleton: i cannot believe my eyes_

_the little merman: lets just chnge the subjetc ey?_

 

_gremlin: ok_

 

_gremlin: theres this person_

 

_the little merman: HOOO BOY YES I WAS BORN FOR THIS_

 

_gremlin: stfu_

 

_gremlin: her name is alice_

 

_the little merman: that is so cute_

 

_emo skeleton: wait how old is she_

 

_gremlin: ew dont worry im not into anyone in my class,, all old shits_

 

_gremlin: she is also 14, :^)_

 

_the little merman: ok i need more deets pidge_

 

_gremlin: okok_

 

_gremlin: she's my new neighbor and shes super sweet_

 

_gremlin: and lance_

 

_gremlin: shes blonde_

 

_the little merman: *cries* otp_

 

_gremlin: shes so pretty i wanna cuddle her_

 

_the little merman: ive never seen her and i already ship it_

 

_gremlin: i told her abt u and she said that u seem chill and she'd want to meet u_

 

_the little merman: HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN HER???_

 

_gremlin: uhhh, like a week_

 

_the little merman: WTF_

 

_gremlin: but like we just became buddies last night_

 

_emo skeleton: i know im not contributing much but she seems very sweet, i hope yall end up together_

 

_gremlin: keith calm, ive known her a week_

 

_the little merman: hunk knew shay for like 2 days and they dating_

 

_gordon ramsay: lanceeee not officiallyyyyy_

 

_the little merman: oh wjateber_

 

_gremlin: wjateber_

 

_the little merman: stfu_

 

_the little merman: ALSO what yall goin as for halloween_

 

_gremlin: a piece of toast_

 

_the little merman: what_

 

_emo skeleton: thats not as bad as shiro's, hes going as a dragon_

 

_the little merman: that seems cool though!_

 

_emo skeleton: oh no,, its not_

 

_emo skeleton: [Image Attached]_

 

_the little merman: im_

 

_gremlin: WHAT THE FUCK LMAO_

 

_gordon ramsay: thats a dragon???_

 

_emo skeleton: honestly i dont even know_

 

_the little merman: well if his is so bad whats the other brother doing?_

 

_emo skeleton: me? i dont dress up_

 

_the little merman: WHAT_

 

_emo skeleton: eh too much work_

 

_the little merman: ok u know what im gonna make u a costume_

 

_emo skeleton: lance, halloween is like in two days_

 

_the little merman: so? we finna match_

 

_gordon ramsay: lance's costumes are lit im excited_

 

_gremlin: what're you going as hunk?_

 

_gordon ramsay: a banana_

 

_emo skeleton: wtf is with you guys and food costumes_

 

_gordon ramsay: im being the banana to pidge's toast you heathen_

 

_gremlin: yeah what he said, you /heathen/_

 

_emo skeleton: allura,, please say you have a normal costume,,_

 

_bitchy witchy: me? never. i'm dressing up as mario and i made a bloody luigi doll so im going to be dragging about my bloody brother luigi and a bloody knife so that it seems i murdered my brother_

 

_emo skeleton: what the fuck_

 

_the little merman: man thats so cool, the costumes im making are based off a bop_

 

_bitchy witchy: what bop?_

 

_the little merman: cant tell ya mate,, gotta wait till halloween xx_

 

_emo skeleton: since when were you british_

 

_the little merman: idk_

 

_natt: YOU SPOONS DIDNT ASK WHAT IM DRESSED AS_

 

_gremlin: kirby_

 

_natt: YOU SPOILED IT_

 

_gremlin: you do it every year matt_

 

_natt: YEAH BUT EVERY YEAR I CHANGE ONE THING SLIGHTLY JUST TO FUCK WITH THE NEIGHBORS_

 

_gremlin: oh my god what did you do_

 

_natt: i made one eye bigger than the other_

 

_gremlin: MATT_

 

_natt: THAT BITCH SUSAN IS GONNA BE SO CONFUSED LMAO_   
  
  


_gremlin: oh my god_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed!!
> 
> i might be doing a LATE halloween special in november,, but only if you guys want that, so please leave a comment! (if not ill just briefly mention halloween in the next update, lol)
> 
> idk if we're gonna do something for thanksgiving yet.. i MIGHT make an angsty thanksgiving update (prolly late because i suck at updating) but yeah!
> 
> thanks for all the kudos and comments babes, yall rlly make me feel all soft :))
> 
> if yall wanna chat my twitter is: https://twitter.com/lovelymcclain
> 
>  
> 
> btwwww: when i say bpd somewhere in the fic i mean bipolar disorder NOT borderline personality disorder x


	9. not a real update - hiatus

sorry if you thought this was a real update,, um.. all my works are being put on hold for the time being

 

i will try my best to get the halloween update thing out sometime but i honestly don't have the energy to even write a chapter, aha..

 

uh, please dont ride my ass or anything about updating.. i just.. dont feel great you know?

 

if you guys wanna chat or anything my dms are open 

 

↘my links↙

 

[Twitter](https://twitter.com/lovelymcclain)

 

[Tumblr](https://stunningmcclain.tumblr.com)

 

[Wattpad](https://wattpad.com/lovelymcclain)

 

thank you guys so much for understanding..

 

i love you guys a lot

 

stay safe lovelies


	10. its a mess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holidays are too hard im sorry
> 
> we'll glaze over it
> 
> dont hate me pls i just had to rewrite this for the second time because my computer died and theres a bug bite on my wrist that im biting and its almost one in the morning
> 
> l o v e m e
> 
>  
> 
> i forgot to change the name of the chapter fuck me in the ass im so stupid

 

**the little merman has cleared everyone's names.**

 

_Takashi Shirogane: i feel so,, naked.._

 

_Katie Holt: AAAA WHAT THE HECK_

 

_Allura: is this real life_

 

_Keith Kogane: god, i missed you basic-ness_

 

**Lance Mcclain has changed Keith Kogane's name to literally cried over mcr for the fifth time this month yesterday**

 

_literally cried over mcr for the fifth time this month yesterday: WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU FIND THIS DIRT_

 

_Lance Mcclain: i dig deep hoe_

 

_Matt Holt: where am i_

 

_Allura: lance,, please,, its too basic i feel like im bare ass naked in the forest right now_

 

_Takashi Shirogane: I regretfully and sadly have to agree with her_

 

_Matt Holt: dramatic_

 

_Lance Mcclain: I KNEW YOU GUYS LOVED ME I KNEW IGT_

 

 

**Lance Mcclain has changed Takashi Shirogane's name to i imagine death so much it feels more like a memory**

 

**Lance Mcclain has changed Katie Holt's name to EVERYONE GIVE IT UP FOR AMERICA'S FIGHTING FRENCH [PERSON]**

 

**Lance Mcclain has changed Allura's name to MY DEAREST, ANGELICAAA**

 

**Lance Mcclain has changed Keith Kogane's name to you have invented a new kind of stupid**

 

**Lance Mcclain has changed Matt Holt's name to BEND OVER ILL SHOW YOU WHERE MY SHOE FITS**

 

**Lance Mcclain has changed Hunk Garret's name to raise a glass to freedom~**

 

**Lance Mcclain has changed their own name to I probably shouldn’t brag but dag I amaze and astonish**

 

_i imagine death so much it feel more like a memory: i.. i cant even deny how much i relate to my name_

 

_MY DEAREST, ANGELICAAA: i beg ur diddly darn pardon im not that dramatic literally its a comma hoe hammy wrote jlaurens "Cold in my professions, warm in [my] friendships, I wish, my Dear Laurens, it m[ight] be in my power, by action rather than words, [to] convince you that I love you. I shall only tell you that 'till you bade us Adieu, I hardly knew the value you had taught my heart to set upon you. Indeed, my friend, it was not well done. You know the opinion I entertain of mankind, and how much it is my desire to preserve myself free from particular attachments, and to keep my happiness independent on the caprice of others. You sh[ould] not have taken advantage of my sensibility to ste[al] into my affections without my consent. But as you have done it and as we are generally indulgent to those we love, I shall not scruple to pardon the fraud you have committed, on condition that for my sake, if not for your own, you will always continue to merit the partiality, which you have so artfully instilled into [me]."_

 

_i probably shouldn't brag but dag i amaze and astonish: i cant believe u have that on copy read to paste anywhere_

 

_MY DEAREST, ANGELICAAA: what can i say, im a sucker for your gay historians_

 

_i probably shouldn't brag but dag i amaze and astonish: not even mine im from cuba go look at pidge the ye ol italian whomst is from florida but wont admit it_

 

_EVERYONE GIVE IT UP FOR AMERICA'S FAVORITE FIGHT FRENCH [PERSON]: yknow i was about to declare my love for u for replacing man but now u can go suck on a dick_

 

_i probably shouldn't brag but dag i amaze and astonish: :((_

 

_BEND OVER ILL SHOW YOU WHERE MY SHOE FITS: my literal favorite lyric ever i relate_

 

_you have invented a new kind of stupid: i cant tell if this is an insult or supposed to be something id say_

 

_raise a glass to freedom~: are you trying to make me cry_

 

_i probably shouldn't brag but dag i amaze and astonish: wait now im confused on whos who oh no_

 

_BEND OVER ILL SHOW YOU WHERE MY SHOE FITS: u literally made[zombie lams](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6e8DLPOmyw) costumes for u and keith but cant remember which lyric u stuck on us fake fan_

_you have invented a new kind of stupid: what_

 

_i probably shouldn't brag but dag i amaze and astonish: GOD DAMMIT MATT_

 

_you have invented a new kind of stupid: i havent seen hamilton whats lams_

 

_i probably shouldn't brag but dag i amaze and astonish: *BREATHES IN*_

 

_MY DEAREST, ANGELICAAA: B O I_

 

_EVERYONE GIVE IT UP FOR AMERICA'S FAVORITE FIGHTING FRENCH [PERSON]: disowned_

 

_you have invented a new kind of stupid: im not even related to you_

 

_EVERYONE GIVE IT UP FOR AMERICA'S FAVORITE FIGHT FRENCH [PERSON]: you will be soon if matt and shiro keep it goin_

 

_i probably shouldn't brag but dag i amaze and astonish: this is so funny im imagining angelica and lafayette screaming at eachother "IM DISOWNING YOU" "I DONT EVEN KNOW YOU"_

 

_MY DEAREST, ANGELICAAA: this is a mess_

 

_i imagine death so much it feel more like a memory: we are all messes allura get over it_

 

_MY DEAREST, ANGELICAAA: well ill just go die then_

 

_raise a glass to freedom~: i feel like if i bake cookies life will be fixed_

 

_i probably shouldn't brag but dag i amaze and astonish: I HEARD COOKIES_

 

_BEND OVER ILL SHOW YOU WHERE MY SHOE FITS: FOOD_

 

_MY DEAREST, ANGELICAAA: I CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD FOR HUNK'S COOKIES_

 

_i imagine death so much it feels more like a memory: i jsut remembered my will to live is hunk_

 

_you have invented a new kind of stupid: ...cookies?_

 

_EVERYONE GIVE IT UP FOR AMERICA'S FAVORITE FIGHT FRENCH [PERSON]: im coming over_

 

_raise a glass to freedom: thats what i thought._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry that this is short i really wanted to give u guys an update since its been forever
> 
> also ill prolly change their names back to the original users from ch1 dont worry it wont be as confusing next chapter
> 
> thanks for all the kudos and comments!! i am feeling better now :))
> 
> ALSO THE ZOMBIE LAMS MUSIC VIDEO IS MUSH ROOMIE'S VIDEO BUT THEY'RE CHANNEL SADLY GOT DELETED :(( THE PERSON WHO REUPLOADED THEIR VIDEOS WILL DELETE THEM WHEN/IF MUSH ROOMIE RETUNS <3
> 
> if yall wanna chat hmu on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/lovelymcclain)  
> ask me anything (can be stupid or not even a question, just leave shit, im lonely) on my [Tumblr](https://stunningmcclain.tumblr.com)
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> btwwww: when i say bpd somewhere in the fic i mean bipolar disorder NOT borderline personality disorder x


	11. why do cheese sticks either taste really good or like plastic??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY SHIT??? 2500+ HITS?? TYSM!??!?!!?!??!
> 
> AND 200+ KUDOS??? GOD DAMN I LOVE U BABES
> 
> HERES KLANCE DEVELOPMENT SINCE I FORGOT THIS STORY HAD PLOT 
> 
> LOVE U

_blueboy: maaann i missed our og users_

 

_restinpidge: ew ur boring_

 

_killmenow: this still fits??_

 

_emobaby: where did our plot go_

 

_theofficialgayprincess: plot? dont know her_

 

_2hunkyforu: dont leave the readers hanging! give them plot author-chan!!!!!!_

 

_blueboy: hunk speaking like an anime boy is my aesthetic_

 

_natt: i miss plot?_

 

_author-chan: FINE ILL,, TRY MY BEST??? PLOT IS HARD OK_

 

_2hunkyforu: <333_

 

* * *

 

 

**gaybrogane to panbrogane**

 

_gaybrogane: do u ever like,, start crying because someone is so beautiful??_

 

_panbrogane: are you talking about the cat or lance_

 

_gaybrogane: both_

 

_panbrogane: im this close to exposing you_

 

_gaybrogane: ill show pics of u slurping slushee off the floor_

 

_panbrogane: i have NO SHAME_

 

_gaybrogane: LIAR U CRIED WHEN I SAID I WAS SENDING IT TO PIDGE_

 

_panbrogane: YOU HAVE NO PROOF_

 

_gaybrograne: DAMMIT_

 

_gaybrogane: ANYWHORE_

 

_gaybrogane: how exactly do u ask someone on a date i need to know for a friend_

 

_panbrogane: KE ITH_

 

_gaybrogane: NOOOOO I KNEW U WERE THE WRONG PERSON TO ASK ABT THIS_

 

_panbrogane: UR GROWING UP IM CRYING_

 

_gaybrogane: die_

 

_panbrogane: NONONO ILL HELP ILL HELP_

 

_gaybrogane: f ine_

 

* * *

 

 

**mulletman to bibibytch**

 

_mulletman: helloooo???_

 

_bibibytch: ..keith?_

 

_mulletman: hii!!!!!!!!_

 

_bibibytch: are u drunk?_

 

_mulletman: no?_

 

_mulletman: damn i knew shiro was wrong me trying to be cute is weird_

 

_bibibytch: u were trying to be cute??? for me???_

 

_mulletman: ABORT MISSION ABORT_

 

_bibibytch: NOOOOOOOO COME BACK HERE_

 

_mulletman: ?!?!?_

 

_bibibytch: do u wanna hang out like sometime this week_

 

_mulletman: ! >!>!>!>!!>!>_

 

_bibibytch: ill take that as a yes :))_

 

_bibibytch: ill text ya later :) <3_

 

 

* * *

 

 

**gaybrogane to panbrogane**

 

_gaybrogane: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA_

 

_panbrogane: did it work_

 

_gaybrogane: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA_

 

_panbrogane: im guessing yes_

 

* * *

 

 

**lancella to kattywack**

 

_lancella: KATIA OH MY GO D_

 

_kattywack: shut up stinky_

 

* * *

 

 

**lanceybab to sunshinebab**

 

_lanceybab: HUNK ASJHDASIDHSUDA_

 

_sunshinebab: are you ok??_

 

_lanceybab: I JUST ASKED KEITH ON A LOWKEY DATE AM I OK?~!?!?!?!?!?!@?#!?!??~!?~?!/_

 

_sunshinebab: use protection!_

 

_lanceybab: H U N K_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heres a new chappy since i felt i should prolly update??
> 
> gimme ideas pls im running out and this literally might just turn to shitposts im SPOOKED
> 
> leave a comment?? pls?? i miss u babes ur what keeps me going on this dangy doo story 
> 
> if yall wanna chat hmu on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/lovelymcclain)  
> ask me anything (can be stupid or not even a question, just leave shit, im lonely) on my [Tumblr](https://stunningmcclain.tumblr.com)  
> also if yall wanna talk ocs or make some cool ass fanart of my babies check out my [OC Tumblr](https://sincerelyess.tumblr.com/)


	12. you're kinda beautiful today

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> keith and lance go on a date, some shit hits the fan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shoutout to [Cookies_and_Biscuits](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cookies_and_Biscuits) who helped me with the idea for this chapter!
> 
> enjoy!
> 
> A L S O: i made a discord server!  
> [Click here to join! :D](https://discord.gg/ktn3ZQA)

Lance's hands were sweaty as he opened the door handle, he knows he was the one who asked  _him_ out but it's- it's still nerve wracking! The smell of the small bakery immediately violated his nostrils. Freshly baked bread, sweets, and many other food scents made him feel more relaxed and calm. He glanced around, hoping to see that cute mullet boy. Keith was sitting near the window, smiling at something on his phone. He looked.. breathtaking. His hair was styled with a two small braids wrapping around to the back of his head, hair still splayed out like a waterfall underneath. Small glasses framed his eyes, which Lance could tell, they are definitely hiding his dark circles under his eyes. His outfit was so... So Keith. A red flannel wrapped around his waist, a regular white t-shirt with a alien on it, and some black ripped jeans to compliment the look. 

 

He quickly scurried over to take the seat across from Keith, giving him a small smile and quiet 'Hello'. He looked up and immediately, his face turns red. "H-hey! How's it going?"

 

Lance really didn't want this to just be awkward small talk. "Good! You look beautiful, by the way. Your hair is adorable."

 

If Keith could turn any redder he would, "Aha, thank you. You too."

 

"So, can I tell you some awful pick up lines in hope of your undying love for me?"

 

"You're so stupid- But sure, go for it."

 

Keith was smiling before Lance even said the first one, which made him glad he took to himself to look up some awful ones just on purpose to make his date laugh at home. "If you were a flower, you'd be a DAMNdelion!" Lance chokes out after a second of mind-racking which he wanted to use first.

 

Keith rolled his eyes, "Come on, you've gotta have worse and/or better ones than that!"

 

He chuckled and almost couldn't get the next one out, before finally releasing, "Are you sandpaper? Cuz I want you to rub my wood."

 

Keith covers his smile with his hand, "Oh my god."

 

"I know."

 

"One more."

 

"Do you work at subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong." He added an extra wink at the end, to  _really_ seal the deal.

 

Keith just whispered, "That was so fucking stupid." and just starts laughing.

 

Lance laughs with him, smiling widely. He glances at Keith after he finally finishes his laughing fit and god, his smile is so pretty. "Is that what you brought me out for, hmm? Shitty pick up lines?"

 

"Of course not! Have you ordered something yet? I can get you a drink if you'd like."

 

"Mm, sure. A strawberry with no boba?

 

"Man, you're so basic!"

 

"I'm basic?! What are you getting?"

 

"Orange cream with rainbow jellies."

 

"Pfft, that's just a flavor with more flavored little jellies."

 

" _Pfft_ , fuck off. I'm gonna go get your drink." He laughed, getting up and heading over to the order counter.

 

 He placed the order and turned around to come face to face with a familiar white haired man, "Shit," Lance muttered, glancing to Keith who just gave him an eyebrow raise. "Ohh, hey. You on a date or something? Strange someone would go out with a freak like you. Does he know?" Lotor dragged him to the side.

 

Lance coughed, "None of your business."

 

Lotor rolled his eyes, "He doesn't does he? That's really shit of you, you know. You're just gonna get destroyed again because you're keeping it a secret."

 

"It's none of your fucking business!"

 

"There he goes again! Crazy Lance!"

 

Lance's eyes brimmed with tears, he covered his face with his hands, "Just shut up!"

 

"Craazzyyy Lance!"

 

It seems Keith noticed something was wrong because he got up and put his hand on Lance's shoulder,  "Hey... What's wrong, Lance?" He glanced to the man across from him, "Who're you?"

 

"Hmph. Lotor, he's never talked about me? What a bitch."

 

Keith blinked as the puzzle pieces got into place, he stepped close to him, noses almost touching and whispered, "You are scum. You act like a fucking child. You are the dog shit people step on on their walks. You are a fucking piece of dog shit. You're a complete asshole and you make me lose belief in humanity. You. Can. Go. Suck. Satan's. Dick." 

 

"Excuse me?" Lotor laughed.

 

"You heard me." Keith spat, slapping him on the face, "Don't come near  _my_ boyfriend again, you'll get much worse than a slap, I can promise you that."

 

He grabbed Lance and got their drinks off the counter, hurrying out of the place and down to the park. Lance had tears rolling down his cheeks, he tried to wipe them away but they wouldn't stop. Keith frowned and hugged him softly, "Hey... It's okay, I'm here.."

 

Lance hugged back and sobbed into his shoulder, "I'm such a baby, crying over a stupid nickname."

 

"Nickname?"

 

"Crazy Lance. I know it doesn't sound that bad, but him and his-his _fucking_ friends called me it when I got angry."

 

Keith pulled away slowly, looking him straight in the eyes, "You're not crazy. You aren't. You are allowed to get angry, it's your life, Lance. Don't let them control you."

 

Lance laughed, wiping another tear, "I know." His face turned into a smirk, "Your boyfriend, eh?"

 

Keith started blushing again, "Shut up."

 

Lance cooed, "Awww, do you wanna date me, Keiithhh?"

 

"Shhhhh, drink your drink."

 

"What, you don't wanna go out with me?"

 

"I didn't say that." Keith smiled, walking off towards the playground, sipping his drink quietly.

 

"Keeeeiiiiittthhhhh!" Lance whined, running after him, already feeling relaxed again.

 

Keith was his magic potion. And he would never forget it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry that this took forever, writing full fledged chaps instead of shitposts is hard yo. this is also short sorry, i lost motivation half way through.
> 
> comment that gud shit to get me that gud ol' motivation back ;) A L S O pls ask questions on tumblr my tumblr is so fricking DR Y
> 
> thanks for all the hits and kudos, dears, y'all are the best :)))))))))
> 
> if yall wanna chat hmu on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/lovelymcclain)  
> ask me anything (can be stupid or not even a question, just leave shit, im lonely) on my [Tumblr](https://stunningmcclain.tumblr.com)  
> also if yall wanna talk ocs or make some cool ass fanart of my babies check out my [OC Tumblr](https://stunningocs.tumblr.com/)


	13. i dont wanna be u anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He gripped the lighter he hid in his other pocket. He put the joint between his lips, lighting it and breathing in slowly. As he exhaled, he could imagine how all his nerves would float away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lowkey inspo by idontwannabeyouanymore by billie eilish
> 
> funfact: i really love lotor in the show idrk why i make him a bitch in all my fics- i think i just need an antagonist and hes the easiest to make a bitch LMAO
> 
> also this is a vent chapter ://
> 
> ps ive never smoked da weeds,, so if i got some shit wrong dont @ me.
> 
> tw?? ig?? there is marijuana smoking (idk if thts a trigger,, but just to be safe!!) and mild punishment type thing,, idk if it would be labeled child abuse. it matters on ur views of everything.

Lance smiled into the mirror, hating what he saw. It wasn't real. It wasn't him.  The smile was drawn on by default. A single tear ran down his cheek, the smile not dropping. _Keep the smile up, be happy, don't worry others. No one needs to know._

 

He choked on a sob, smile falling apart and his ugly frown coming into view, he looked away, not wanting to see himself looking so pathetic. He heard the front door jiggle and he wiped away the tears, taking a tissue and cleaning up his face, hoping it wasn't obvious. He walked out, smiling at his older brother who just arrived home. "You okay?"

 

"Ah, yeah. Don't worry about it." He grinned, going out to the porch and exhaling slowly. He sat down on the bench they kept out there, remembering when he was a kid and his mother would sit with him there and just read. Read, read, read. He pulled the joint out of his pocket and stared at it. He knew he wasn't supposed to have it, he knew it wasn't his. He didn't care.

 

He gripped the lighter he hid in his other pocket. _It's medicinal._ He put the joint between his lips, lighting it and breathing in slowly. As he exhaled, he could imagine how all his nerves would float away. His phone blinked at him, and he glanced at it.  _ah, the groupchat._

 

**for forks sake**

 

_restinpidge: why has this been dead???_

 

_2hunkyforu: i had hw_

 

_emobaby: ^_

 

_blueboy: busy_

 

_restinpidge: lance??? busy??? whomst???_

 

_blueboy: lmao_

 

He closed his phone, taking another drag of the joint, closing his eyes. "Are you smoking?!"

 

He kept his eyes closed, "It helps my nerves."

 

"Lance, that's dads.. he's gonna be pissed." Katia whispered.

 

"I know."

 

"Did you take your meds today?"

 

"Can't remember."

 

She took the blunt out of his hand, and put it out on the porch, "You don't need this."

 

He blinked at her and watched as she disappeared into the house. He sighed loudly, and got up, staring at the road in front of his home. Wondering if he stepped out there right now, would a car come and hit him? Would they take they step on their breaks? Try to save him instead of their self? Who knows.

 

His phone blinked at him again, since he could already feel the weed kicking in, he answered.

 

**mulletman to bibibytch**

 

_mulletman: hey. are you okay?_

 

_bibibytch: yea_

 

_mulletman: you sure? i know yesterday really hurt.._

 

_bibibytch: would you come over?_

 

_mulletman: what?_

 

_bibibytch: you dont have to. itd just be nicee._

 

_mulletman: okay._

 

* * *

 

 

Lance had already smoked the whole joint by the time keith arrived, he lit it back up after he texted him. He was higher than a fucking kite. "Keith! Come in!" He laughed, pulling him into the house, and Katia just shook her head.

 

"Sorry, Katia's mad at me." He rolled his eyes, coughing a bit.

 

"Are you.. high?"

 

"A little!" He giggled.

 

He dragged Keith up the stairs and laid him on the bed, then laid next to him, staring at the paintings that littered his ceiling. "Lance, I didn't know you did drugs?"

 

"I don't?"

 

"You're high Lance, marijuana is a drug."

 

"It's a one time thing!"

 

Keith glanced at him and dropped it, staring at the ceiling as well. "Are you sure you're okay?"

 

Lance gripped Keith's hand, "I'm fine. Promise."

 

Keith sighed and just sat in the comfortable silence, analyzing each painting. "Did you make these?"

 

"Nah, my older brother gave me his old paintings he did in college."

 

"He made a painting of a boy crying in a closet?"

 

"Oh.. I did that one, he taught me a few things a long time ago."

 

"Does he live here?"

 

"No."

 

"Oh."

 

The quiet take the room over again. Lance's eyes closed slowly, falling into a small slumber.

 

* * *

 

 

They both woke up to the door slamming open, "Lance, why does it smell like-"

 

"What are you doing? Who's this?!" His mother said, staring at the situation in front of her.

 

"Nothing is happening! We just fell asleep-"

 

"You know I love you but he needs to get out of here, your dad will be home soon, mijo."

 

Lance sighed as Keith blinked at the two, confusion filling his eyes. Lance got up and grabbed the Korean's hand, "I'm sorry, let me see you out."

 

"Okay..."

 

He brought him down the stairs, Lance's brother sniffing as he passed the two, "You stink, Lance. Did you guys smoke?"

 

"No, fuck off, Anthony." Lance spat, not looking at him and exiting the house with Keith. 

 

He smiled at Keith sadly before kissing him on the cheek, "Sorry."

 

Keith blushed, but just searched Lance's eyes, "Is there something going on? You're.. different today?"

 

Lance laughed, "Yeah I know. I'll tell you some other day," He glanced and saw his dad pulling up, "You should go."

 

Keith nodded and hugged him goodbye, passing Lance's father on the way down.

 

"Who was that-" He sniffed Lance, "You.. You've been smoking my weed, haven't you?!" His dad yelled, gripping the teen by his ear and bringing him inside, Lance stayed silent.

 

"Papa! What are you doing?" Anthony yelled, seeing his older brother being gripped by the ear, the smell of marijuana still lingering.

 

"Get out of the way, Antonio."

 

"Papa-" Gabriel pushed him out of the way, bringing Lance upstairs and bringing him into the bathroom.

 

"You're mother would divorce me if i hurt you, so we're just gonna wash your dick sucking mouth with soap." He bit, sticking Lance's head into the sink.

 

Lance's eyes filled with tears, he awaited doom with silence. Next thing he knew, his dad was sticking soap down his throat, "This scrub is for smoking my weed," He yelled, scraping the soap on Lance's tongue and teeth, "This scrub is for having a boy here without my permission, and THIS SCRUB," he got louder, almost choking Lance with the soap, "is for disappointing your whole, goddamn family."

 

He pulled the soap out quickly, Lance bending over the sink and coughing all the excess soap up. Tears were rolling down his cheeks as he turned the water off and tried to get the taste out of his mouth. He hated it.

 

Gabriel left after the incident, probably to smoke, which left Lance bent over the sink alone, a mild breakdown flowing through him. He knew it would happen, he did. But it still fucking hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the angst!! ill try my best to make it more happy next chapter.
> 
> hmu
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/lovelymcclain)  
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